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FAMILY PERSPECTIVE

It's hard for me to believe that my husband, Dave, and I already had two children (Benjamin and Randall) graduate from New Morning School (NMS) and only have one child (Eleanor) now in the middle school. It seems like just yesterday that they were in either “Wiggles and Giggles” or “Me and My Shadow.” We could hardly think about a time when our children would be attending middle school let alone high school or college. However, time slips by more quickly than one can ever imagine and before you know it your days at NMS have slipped by.

There were many reasons why Dave and I chose NMS in the first place. The smaller class size, parental involvement, teaching of planning skills, the philosophy that allows children to learn at the level and pace that best meets their individual needs along with a variety of teaching methods, were all considerations. But I think what really finally drove our decision was the environment created by the staff that is pervasive throughout all of the different programs at NMS. This is an environment driven by a philosophy that supports learning by stimulating creativity, problem-solving, and critical thinking skills. When we added the teachers' willingness to work with parents to meet the unique needs and challenges any child brings to school, we knew that NMS was the best place for our three children.

Over the years we have seen many changes and have experienced many transitions here at NMS. There have been changes in teachers, programs, students, buildings, but the basic philosophy has remained constant. As I mulled over what I might want to write, I started thinking about what has been so valuable about the experience at NMS for our children and for Dave and I as well. I grouped these into six different categories.

Solid Education: We have been very pleased with the education our children have received at NMS. Our sons, Benjamin (junior) and Randall (freshman), are students at Catholic Central High School. Both of them are enrolled in honor classes and started in second year Spanish as freshmen. Ben has taken advanced placement classes in Spanish, and European and American History. The transition to a larger school was not difficult (in fact I think it was much more difficult for me than for them!). Both Randall and Ben say that NMS prepared them well for high school. All three of our children have strong planning and organizational skills. Eleanor loves school and has transitioned very well from the elementary to the middle school program. She was prepared to begin 6th grade and knows how to plan her days and evenings to complete school assignments. Eleanor and her brothers also participate in a wide variety of extracurricular activities. 

Experiential Learning: Hands-on learning has helped our children apply what they learn to real life situations. From pizza group to the Oregon Trail expedition to solving conflicts “on the steps” with Rita, there are a wide variety of experiences that assist each child (and yes, even parents!) in making sense of information they receive. For example, the simple science experiments our children conducted, even as early as preschool, have developed not only a continual curiosity of why things happen, but also a basic love for science that exists to this day. Randall says, “NMS helped me to live up to my full potential and I believe that without my teachers' support I would not be the person I am today.” In each of the educational levels, children are assigned either individually or in groups to tasks that need to be organized or completed. This can range from clean-up group to cleaning out cubbies to organizing the Book Fair or a dance. Each of these activities has assisted our children develop and use skills that are so important in everyday living. 

Problem-Solving Skills: Our children have developed the ability to think of problems not as obstacles or barriers but rather as opportunities and/or challenges to come up with solutions. They see parents and teachers as resources to assist them in their efforts and are never afraid to approach a teacher. This has been important in high school. But the use of questions, such as “What would you like to see happen?” or “How would you want to begin this project?” versus just giving the answer or a direction, has helped children to develop not just the skills to solve problems but also confidence that they can solve them. This was also a huge learning for us as parents. Often in our eagerness to help our children be successful, we wanted to tell our child what or how to do something. However by observing the teachers in the classroom we learned how to reinforce the problem-solving skills our children were learning. Ben says, “At NMS I learned to problem-solve by approaching the issue in a thoughtful but analytical manner. The teachers helped me understand that there are many ways to solve or approach problems and still achieve the same outcome.”

Interpersonal Relationships: Another unique strength in the NMS program is the ability for children of different ages to interact with each other. We have seen the benefit of this in several ways. The first is the confidence building that occurs with an older child when they are paired with a younger child such as a reading buddy. Or the special feeling that the younger child has when they see an older student – “That's my reader!” All three of our children remember their reading buddies and the children they read to.

The interactions that occur within the classroom and throughout the school, among children of different ages and backgrounds, have been invaluable for our children. It has helped them appreciate the differences each individual brings to the school and to develop patience, understanding and in some cases, the need for tolerance.

Another area has been the friendships that have developed. Ben, Randall and Eleanor have gone to school with many of their classmates since preschool and have developed strong friendships that continue to this day. This also includes the friendships and shared experiences that Dave and I have had not only with other parents but also with the children as well.

Parental Involvement: One of the best opportunities Dave and I have had with NMS is the ability to be very involved in the school. This includes aiding in the classroom, field trips, membership on the board and yes, even the auction. The opportunity to aid weekly in the classroom, especially at swim and gym has been great. I will admit that Dave and I have had to be creative and it did cause some stress in meeting this obligation since we both worked full time for the first 12 years we were with the school. (Dave recently retired from Ford.) But it was well worth the opportunity to interact with our own children and others in the classroom. We were able to observe our children as they interacted with other children, aides and the teachers. Our daughter Eleanor says, “It's a lot of fun having my mom or dad at the school on Fridays because I get to show them the work that I do.” This also helped Dave and I to better understand how to help our children work independently and to reinforce both academic and social expectations. We also learned a great deal about ourselves in the process. 

Personal Learning: The old saying that “you are never to old to learn” has been clearly evident at NMS. Dave and I have learned a great deal from the students, teachers and families at NMS. I have noted some of these learnings throughout this article. But there have been many others. One of the key lessons we learned from the teachers was the importance of accepting the struggles our children had at different points in their life, not rushing in to fix or solve the problem as these struggles actually provided the foundation for their future successes. Each small success our children achieved helped to develop their confidence in themselves and problem-solving skills. Whether a problem concerned school work, conflict with a friend or a behavior that was not acceptable, the teachers were there to provide support, guidance and sometimes a shoulder, not just for each of our children but for Dave and I as well.

I learned to be supportive, but not the crutch, and the patience to let our children learn on their own which is much harder than just doing it yourself while they watched. I also learned how each child is different and they all learn in different ways and at different speeds. I have a few examples of what I learned from specific teachers, such as where to hide glitter from Marilyn and how to interact more effectively with the preschoolers. I learned from Rita that the steps are a good place to have a serious discussion and to problem-solve. She and many of the other teachers taught me how to listen more effectively to our children. I learned from Barb and Linda the effectiveness of teamwork and how to better accept the changes that were going to occur as our children approach and charge through adolescence. And I learned how to express a concern and to be heard from Elaine.

So what's next? Well, Eleanor has about two and a half years left at NMS. We have already experienced two children leaving the NMS community, and I am sure that when Eleanor graduates it will be difficult. But we know our children will have left the school with a solid academic foundation; outstanding planning, creative problem-solving and time management skills; an eagerness for learning; the ability to make good decisions; strong friendships and the ability to develop continued relationships. Everyone, including teachers, staff, parents and children at NMS, contribute to the caring environment and learning community that is so important for the success of our children. Who knows, maybe in 15 or 20 years I will have grandchildren back at the school that provided so much for their parents!

Each Parent Perspective was written by a different New Morning School parent. The names of the parents and children have been changed to protect the confidentiality of parents and children.

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